Naked Christianity

A recent news article caught my attention: “Christians strip down at a South Texas nudist community”. It describes evangelical Christians who take it all off. Nudity is shameful, according to Focus on the Family. “From Genesis 3 onward Scripture seems to make it clear that, except in the case of sexual activity, it’s a shameful thing to ‘uncover one’s nakedness’”. I see just the opposite. Most people see nakedness as shameful because of sexual activity. “At Nature’s Resort, public nudity is not sexual,” the owner says. “The initial conception is that this is a sexual thing. People think we’re all out on the front lawn having sex with each other, swapping partners. In fact, if there is any overt sexuality, you see that gate open real fast and somebody is ushered out.”

“I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” God, it seems, intended for humans to live in the nude. That it didn’t bother Adam before the Fall; it would seem that his fear arose more out of the new-found exposure to vulnerability rather than embarrassment.

Nudity was a taboo in the ancient Israelite society. Beginning with Adam’s sin, the Bible frequently associates nakedness with humiliation and dishonor. Noah’s drunkenness, Lot’s daughters – “uncovering nakedness” connotes inappropriate sexual activity. But there are other passages where nakedness has nothing to do with that. Jesus hung naked on the Tree. And we have St. John matter-of-factly reporting that Simon Peter put clothes on when he jumped into the water. In the pre-mechanized world, there were occupations where nakedness was (no pun intended) best suited – those predating physical contact with whirling industrial machinery. Juxtaposed with Jewish morality is a Biblical ambivalence to nakedness where sexuality is not at issue.

Not making a big deal about seeing someone naked is a difficult question for us, in which there is a tension between the modesty of Christians, and the hyper-sexualized, X-rated society in which we live.  That said, I point to C.S. Lewis in saying there is no absolute Christian edit concerning the unclothed human form. One would never think of banning C.S. Lewis as a smut author. But in Perelandra, he casually describes how clothes are unnecessary on inter-planetary visits.  Indeed, in Heaven we are clothed with garments of salvation and arrayed in a robe of his righteousness. (Isaiah 61).

In Mere Christianity, Lewis opines that: “The Christian rule of chastity must not be confused with the social rule of ‘modesty‘”… While the rule of chastity is the same for all Christians at all times, the rules of propriety change. Even Pope John Paul II remarked that “nakedness itself is not immodest”. Context matters. I think of native tribes who lived naked for eons, until missionaries came to inform them it was evil.  Or, my elementary school experience, where we third grade boys didn’t think anything wrong in having to swim naked during pool time.

A stay at a German hotel might shock American tourists, with a sign at the indoor pool saying “No Bathing Suits Allowed”. Whenever I visited friends in Helsinki, we men would nonchalantly head into the sauna –sans clothes, of course.  I was too Puritan-minded to chance a mixed-gender sauna, also a common Finnish practice. In explaining how freeing the experience was, it was incomprehensible to American friends , who asked me whether/why I went to a gay bathhouse! Somehow, Finnish bathing culture escaped our remnants of Victorian prudery.

What person has never dreamed of bathing naked? I’ve done it! I was swimming at a sparsely-occupied beach on the Adriatic. What a sense of non-conformant liberty it brought. Or, at least partially. I kept my trunks on until in the ocean, and tied them tightly around my ankle – in constant fear of the knot becoming untied. And yes, I did pee in the Ocean!

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart,” says Job. Maybe there exists a “naked and without shame” setting in-between where God wouldn’t get mad if you did the same. You don’t stop being a Christian just because you happen not to be wearing any clothes.

I condone a group of naked Christians, who aren’t gathered for an orgy. Those who patronize a naturist retreat on Saturday, and sit in the front pew on Sunday. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. But looking in the mirror, I see almost seven decades of beauty-robbing decrepitude. Believe me, there’s nothing there there. I probably would not accept an invitation, especially since I wouldn’t go unless my wife came with. And that, my friends, would never happen!!

Donald Trump assumes the legacy of Jack Hyles

This post is about Jack Hyles, and it isn’t. It’s about all us within evangelical Christianity. I think it makes more sense to present the story in reverse order:

Jack Schaap just got out of Federal prison, where he did nine years of hard time for sexually abusing an underage girl. Schapp was lead pastor in one of America’s biggest churches. I went to Hammond, Indiana to his 15,000-member church in a Scooby Doo van with a bunch of laid-back Wheaton grad students just to observe an evening service. At the time, I didn’t know much about IFB (Independent Fundamentalist Baptist) churches, but learned all I needed from that evening. It was still when his father-in-law and predecessor Jack Hyles was pastor. We were advised to dress well – and although we left our tattered jeans at home, we stuck out like a sore thumb amidst the suits and ties, and ankle-length dresses. We were seated right in front of the “Preacher Boys”, apparently their version of spiritual apprenticeship. We learned later that the favored pet among them was Dave Hyles – the pastor kid. Brother Hyles harangued the congregation for half an hour or so, occasionally alluding to the Bible – and calling out people by name he reckoned weren’t paying close enough attention. Then came time for the “appeal” and mass baptism. One after another entered the alligator pit – but only after long-haired hippie types were shorn of their locks. It was surreal. Hyles died in 2001, rebuking sinners till the end while refusing to confess his own.

Schaap repeatedly used his authority as pastor and personal “counselor” to groom the minor – repeatedly initiating sex in his office, during a church youth conference, and at a secluded cabin. The court denied his two attempts to reduce his sentence, noting that he demonstrated little remorse in “trying to cover up and eradicate evidence”.  Neither did it go over well when his attorneys maintained the 16 year-old victim was just a slut. The church joined in shredding her reputation, submitting over one hundred letters asking for clemency – effusive in praise of their pastor-felon, yet not a word of compassion for the young girl. “You hurt my entire family,” she wrote. “We all trusted you. We went to church for our entire lives. Now, I am in counseling to deal with the constant anger, sadness, guilt, and shame that I feel.” So Jack did his time, albeit losing some good conduct reduction when reportedly caught with his hand fondling a woman’s crotch. His plans following release are not known. But with many still willing to “lift him up back on his feet”, I assume he will be restored to a pulpit somewhere.

A corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. It didn’t start with Schaap. The senior Hyles was a long-time adulterer until his death. Hyles the junior – still living and ministering faithfully within the IFB bubble – was an alleged serial rapist, reportedly being hustled off by his influential father to from one church to another in the wake of recurring scandals.  In 2020, reports emerged of screenshots a woman in her 20’s took purporting to show the 67 year-old – balding and pudgy – man bragging about his penis and wanting to masturbate online with her. “I’m the boss; I can do whatever I want”, he allegedly wrote. IFB churches may be conducive to this depravity, but they are not unique to it. As one victim stated, the experience made her “understand that these people exist everywhere,”

Like his father-in-law who demanded “100% Hyles” obedience and issued denials while rumors were swirling around him, Schaap exercised command control over his congregation. They absolved themselves from accountability to anyone but God. It’s not a rare occurrence among many within the evangelical cult. All of us nurture our own gardens of rotten fruit, and I point these out not to heap scorn, but to emphasize a truism of evangelicalism, with which Trumpism shares many cultic elements:

  • A strong authoritarian Leader unaccountable to anyone.
    • Invincibility of the Leader as “anointed”, who is never wrong..
    • Leader espouses morality, but does not live it inwardly.
    • Belief in the Leader’s word, regardless of reality.
    • Unquestioned loyalty to the authoritarian Spiritual Father.
    • A strong us-versus-them mentality.

Once during a sermon, Jack Hyles held up a cup embossed with skull and cross-bones, and clearly marked “Poison”. He called over a deacon and asked him to drink it. He gulped it down without hesitation. “People keep wondering why the evangelical church has been one of the staunchest supporters of Donald Trump”, asks Karen Spears Zacharias . She answers her own question: “Why not? Donald Trump is the legacy of Jack Hyles’s life and ministry.”

Why not? Because they are all personality cults. And dangerous. Because they gladly get drunk on kool-aid brought forth from an evil tree.

The Usual Pedo Grifters

A growing swath of MAGA and QAnon conspiracy theory- infected evangelicals embrace pedophilia as their new pejorative against the “Other”. It’s become more than calling someone a pervert. It’s used against any group opposed to their agenda. “Disney stop grooming our children.” “Democrats are the party of ‘grooming and transitioning children’”. “Biden is the groomer-in-chief:” The usual pedo grifters.

Joe Rogan recently went off on public school teachers. “No! No, there should be no groomers! How about that! This is what they wrote, they said, “Not all teachers are groomers, but a lot of groomers are teachers.” And that’s real! That’s a real fucking problem. I mean, constantly, teachers are getting arrested. For exposing themselves to children, for masturbating in front of children, for sending nude pictures in front of children. Every couple days there’s a new one that pops up in the news. And how many of those people haven’t been caught yet? And how many of those people are out there?”

He just as easily could have said, “not all evangelicals are groomers, but a lot of groomers are evangelicals”.  “And how many of those people are out there?”  The Zacharias, the Gothards, the Duggars – the list of prominent evangelicals is long. These people exist everywhere, especially in churches – (see thewartburgwatch.com ). Just a quick headline perusal shows:

  • Former Illinois pastor arrested for grooming minor (Baptist Press)
  • Pastor charged with child sex crimes (Baptist Press)
  • N.C. pastor charged with child sex crimes (Baptist Press)
  • Former Baptist minister charged with child sex crime (Baptist Press)
  • Former Baptist leader charged with sexual assault (Baptist Press)
  • Former Southern Baptist president accused of sexual assault in an explosive, third-party investigation. (Houston Chronicle)
  • Church youth group leader, former coach, arrested on sex abuse charges for second time. (WSET News).

“Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” My personal heartache with this involved my eldest brother, who in 1960 was sodomized as a pre-teen at a Schroon Lake summer camp. It drove him away from the church better than any avowed atheist ever could.

According to Fox News, some 20 years ago a certain pastor raped a 16 year old girl on his office floor. According to reports, he became aware that she was now prepared to expose him. To get ahead of the story, he announced to his congregation that he was guilty of adultery. “To my wife and family, who I deeply hurt, I have confessed my sin, and they have graciously forgiven me and expressed their love to me,” the outed pastor said. Seduction, enticement, molestation, statutory rape, sexual misconduct – these are not just personal sins; they’re crimes on every state’s books. Felonies that involve prison sentences and placement in the national sex offender database.

It seems natural for all types of sexual predation to exist where evangelical pastors love to preach on sex. A recent Southern Baptist report exposed widespread sexual abuse within the denomination, which were purposefully hushed up. In every community I’ve lived in, there has been some sexual scandal involving church leaders. Catholic, evangelical, fundamentalist – it doesn’t matter. Satan also attends every church service; in numerous cases, in the pulpit itself.

In most cases, the tragedy continues after the crime(s), where the victim is slut-shamed, but the perpetrator is administratively “cleansed” and restored. The sexual predator is allowed to leave the damage behind, and continue on serving the Lord in another locale. Sexual predators have been quietly recirculating just like this in many denominations. The objective is to control the narrative, and deflect or counter-attack the victim to minimize any institutional damage. Who’s gonna be convinced our loving, family-oriented pastor is in reality a sexual creep? It’s not easy within a cult-like culture where church members are taught to never question authority. Everyone is willing to let it go, except the victim who doesn’t have that luxury. That too is violence – spiritual violence.

I’m not an expert on sexual predation. But I have a few suggestions for churches to minimize its effects:

  • Take the beam out of your own eye before pointing the finger at “Others”.
  • Implement a public truth inquiry – not a witch hunt – which gives voice to the sexually exploited who have been rendered voiceless.
  • Repent collectively and individually for any act or failure to act that facilitated or contributed.
  • Restitution – restoring that which was unjustly taken – is not possible. But every effort must be made to remove the effects of the wrong. Repairing the broken relationship may never be achieved, but restoring trust may well mean sitting with victims for outside counseling.
  • Because an overseer managing God’s household must be blameless, procedures should be in place to dismiss anyone not qualified to serve in leadership or ministry through sexual misconduct.
  • Do deep diligence and pre-hire vetting of all applicants
  • Publish and abide by a policy that defines and describes prohibited sexual behavior in the church, including on how a complaint is filed and resolved.
  • Invoke safeguarding adult and children classes that are mandatory for all church leaders (including criminal background checks). The Episcopal Church does excellent training on this.

I doubt few churches practice all – or even any – of these safeguarding policies. We all know problems exist. WE ourselves have been among the Usual Pedo Grifters. With God’s help, let’s repair the damage so far, and take precautions as we move on. The Holy Spirit expects nothing less.

How the Corinthians Would Handle Sexual Sin Today

Biblical archaeologists have uncovered a valuable and unique early church manuscript – the church replying to Paul’s letters addressed to the Corinthians:

From: First Church of Corinth

To: Paul, Missionary and Evangelist

Dearest Paul,

We are eternally grateful for your work in founding this church, and thank you for the letters you have sent to encourage us in the faith. We have reviewed them carefully to best to incorporate your recommendations into our program of excellence here at First Church of Corinth.

You allude to an instance of incestuous behaviour being permitted in the church. As senior pastor, I and the elders conducted an internal investigation into the matter. The facts are somewhat different than you set out. The young man in question comes from a prominent family upon whom our church depends financially. We determine that he, like Lot, was seduced and manipulated into sexually immorality by feminine trickery. Having been deceived into sin by an aggressively licentious woman, we quickly restored him into full fellowship. As for this shameless woman, you will be happy to note that we have severed relations and obtained a restraining order against her.

Clearly, you did not have all the facts at your disposal, and the discrepancy is not entirely your fault. Some disgruntled former members have been spreading malicious rumours with the intent of destroying the unity of our body. Many member “concerns” are simply unfounded, and since long ago, we have required our members to sign binding confidentiality agreements to protect our reputation from damaging or disparaging gossip. We are suing these contentious individuals to prevent any disclosures under their contractual obligations.

In the future, direct your communications only to me as senior pastor. I, as owner of the Vision and my select leadership team will fine-tune your letters and pass them on to the congregation as deemed appropriate. As you sail along to other mission fields, be assured that this ship will see its mission fully realized under my leadership and control.

Senior Pastor/CEO